... a baby!
Oh yes.
After having a horrible year in general, this topped it all of and turned it into mostly positive things, kind of gave the missing perspective and reason to get life in order.
It all started last summer, I got together with my boyfriend and father of my baby (that sounds so sick). Not the easiest start to have, involving a mess and breaking up and getting back together. But after that it all worked out and we even made it official (after hiding being a couple for a few months, lol). In december I got really sick. Kidney Infection, and it was just a fucked up experience. Have you ever felt so sick you nearly starved but still threw up all the time? What a bummer. It was around christmas time, it took about a week and a heavy medication to recover... Kind of. In january I dropped out of school because I didn't have good enough grades to get my A level. I didn't really cry about it, but my parents and everyone around. Great disappointment and the cherry on top was another kidney infection. And after that another one and another one and another one.. They lasted for a few days in TOTAL pain and suffering, if you ever had kidney aches you know what I'm talking about, I even cried and had the biggest issues to get out of bed just to brush my teeth (which sometimes led to throwing up... when you didn't eat for days, imagine that please). Gross. It got so bad that my doctor stopped testing different antibiotics and sent me to hospital, where I stayed for 2 weeks. After that I really felt better, physicially. Mentally I was still a little .. wrong? I don't know, I struggled when I had to focus on the future or decide what I want to do with my life. Not to mention that my parents weren't happy about that situation either and set limits to it. I felt like a teenager again (Ok I was a teenager then), misunderstood and left out and just weird, like I didn't get on with myself. And a month after getting out of hospital I had the next kidney infection. I went to see a specialist for that, after my doctor just tried heavy medications again... I read all the prescriptions and I highly doubt that taking high concentrated antibiotics is good for you for half a year. I got different pills but for a longer period of time and vaccination, and it worked! I really recovered after that, I felt sooooo much better and felt happy for the stupidest things, like getting up early without feeling totally sick (staying in bed for half a year has its effects..) or eating so much you can't wear tight pants and things like that.
Beginning of June I realized I was a little late (if you know what I mean, if not read the first line again). Got a pregnancy test, talked to my boyfriend, went to see the doctor (AGAIN WOOHOO) and then had to decide whether a baby is a good idea in such a messy situation like mine or not. I'm not against abortion, and I know some girls who did have one.. so I was really confused and had no idea what to do. I think there is no wrong or right, you won't have an abortion without a reason and these reasons for me were not knowing what's in the future, a not so stable and not so long relationship and health issues, not knowing what friends and family will think and say and if they would appreciate a baby. In the end, obviously, I decided to have the baby. I asked the doctor if everything will be okay during pregnancy with me and my kidney or if this could have any effects on the baby. Everything's fine
And after I had seen the little drop with a heartbeat in my uterus and heard that there are no serious risks, I knew I would be a mother.( I'm still surprised how awkward that sounds, mother and father.) My parents were shocked, but they were very joyful. They're already grandparents and are super excited, just like my boyfriend's parents, but for them it's the first time. Everyone reacted so .. happy about it, really not what I expected. Super lucky to have such lovely people around me
In September my boyfriend and I moved into a flat in a slightly bigger city, but still close enough to the family. It's going quite well, pregnancy is not that bad as I heard about it before, actually is kind of relaxed. The weight gain is quite distracting, the whole body changes. I used to look like I'm 12 and had a .. small body, not really mature, if you understand what I mean^^ And suddenly boobs and a belly so big it looks like I'm falling over. Luckily that's everything that went "bad" for me, I didn't have any morning sickness, just felt really tired and had some kind of food cravings, mostly for things I used to hate.. and after eating them I hated them again
But no throwing up or ice cream with ketchup and chips.
I'm due in february, so no carnival that year. Ahhhh, what a loss ;D But we will see!
I nearly skipped the most exciting thing, right... It's a girl
Still not 100% sure (apparently some boys hide their crown jewels very well), but pretty sure. I listened to Nsync like crazy, it shall be a girl. But now she's more into The Doors. Something about Morrisons voice makes her very active and dancey. That's my girl! (When my mom was pregnant Freddie Mercury died and Queen music was everywhere. She told me I got very quiet and concentrated when I heard Queen as a baby. Might be completely made up, but still a cute story to tell).
kthxbai